Tips for Parents Following Separation

Separation can often be amicable, but in some cases, what starts out as a reasonable and amicable break up can turn sour. Arrangements for your children can become an issue and is highly emotive area of law. Parents often ask us: “How do I get custody of my child?”

This can be complicated by the impact of the separation on your children and their emotions will no doubt impact you as a parent.

Parents are often unsure of the practical elements of their relationship and parenting arrangements. Trying to make decisions about where you are living, time spent with each parent and living expenses is difficult before you get to formalising how you will make long term decisions about schooling etc.

What sort of parenting plans can I make?

There is a scale of documenting your parenting responsibilities from parenting plans, to consent or court orders. Many people agree to a parenting plan and then formalise it with consent or court orders. Depending on how amicable your relationship remains during the separation process will determine what works best for you and your family.

It may be some time before you reach an agreement or parenting plan on your childrens matters.

Tips for Parents on Parenting/Child Custody

Here are some family lawyer’s tips for those that are newly separated with children concerned about parenting (aka child custody) issues:

• Focus on the Child: In all your interactions (with your ex, with mediators, with the court), frame things around the child’s needs, not your “entitlements.” This not only is the right approach, but it may frame you in a more positive light.

• Stay Involved: Remain actively involved in your child’s life – attend school events, extracurriculars or doctor appointments. If the other parent is currently the primary carer, take every opportunity available to spend time and show up for your child. Reliable and loving involvement will be noticed.

• Document Everything: Keep a diary of time you spend with your child, any issues that arise, and communications with the other parent. Save important communications (texts, emails) especially if they show agreements, cooperation or lack thereof, changes to plans, etc. This can be vital evidence.

• Be Ready to Co-Parent: Unless there is a safety issue, demonstrate willingness to facilitate the child’s relationship with the other parent. Courts often order equal shared parental responsibility (joint decision-making), which means both parents must communicate on major issues. Showing you can cooperate (or that you’ve made efforts even if the other side is difficult) can help your case.

• Mind Your Conduct & Delay Responses: Avoid aggressive confrontations or negative talk about the other parent particularly in front of your child/ren. If there are disagreements, delay the response and let the emotion dissipate or handle them through your lawyer. The last thing you want is evidence that you are hostile or not acting in good faith, as that can undermine a custody bid. Taking time to cool off can help to ensure communication remains civil.

• Quality Legal Advice: Finally, get quality legal advice early. Each family’s situation is unique and can change throughout a matter. Even if things are amicable now, they may not remain that way. A family lawyer can help you tailor your approach give you clear guidance of what your options are. Early advice will help to ensure you understand all the procedural requirements to get appropriate parenting arrangements in place and to have disputes resolved quickly.

At PCL Lawyers our family lawyers have extensive experience helping clients make parenting arrangements. If you have just separated, we understand the uncertainty you may be experiencing and can give you reliable advice and help you with your parenting arrangements or disputes.

We work quickly and effectively to ensure that you get effective resolutions to your disputes and can move forward with certainty and confidence.

Contact us today for a confidential discussion about parenting issues and child custody lawyers today.